Spectrum

By Grant White - A conversation in the Dr's waiting room

Patient One
“I’ve got O.C.D.” – (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Patient Two
“Oh ?, I’ve got A.D.D.” - (Attention Deficit Disorder)
Patient Three
“Well -I’ve got U.D.D.” - (Unspecified Dissociative Disorder)
Patient Four
“I’ve got severe D.I.D.” - (Dissociative Identity Disorder)
Patient Five
“Me too and I’ve had A.D.H.D since before it was categorised!” - (Attention deficit
hyperactivity disorder)
Patient Six
“Me got I.d.D – beelow 70!“ (Intellectual and Developmental Disability)
Patient Seven
“Hmm, I’ve had O.S.D.D for years.” (Other Specified Dissociative Disorder)

…

Me
“Yeah ! its a bind ain’t it ? I’ve got M.A.B.”
Patients
“Uh? Eh? Wa? What is M.A.B ?”
Me
“M.A.B ? – M.A.B is a big horse!”
Patients
“What? Eh? Hu?!”
Me
“Yeah!  M.A.B is a Big Horse!
Me, singing
“♫ Em Ay Bee is a Big Horse I’m a Londoner ♫ that I love London so ♫…”

…

I’m not Actually a Londoner, but I am on the spectrum.

Song by Hubert Gregg