Round Robin

Delete as appropriate

Dear Uncle/ Cousin/ Nephew/ distant friend,

how are you? Where’s this year gone - already at its end

and Christmas upon us. Please excuse the lateness of this note

but I’ve had a bad shock/ dream/ bank balance/ throat.

Doesn’t time fly? Next year I promise to write

and arrange a meet-up. How about Wetherspoon’s/ Tesco’s/ The Isle of Wight?

Jason/ Kevin/ Tara/ Kate did the GCSE’s this summer,

got twelve/ six/ none/ other. Well done to him/ her/ What a bummer!

Family hols were in Tenerife/ Tenby/ the Transit/ Korea.

We swam/ golfed/ argued, got lucky/ arrested/ lost/ diarrhoea.

Peter/ Alice/ Richard/ Jill says she/ he loved/ despised it there

so we’re suing the company/ emigrating/ buying timeshare.

Mother is still working/ grappling/ sleeping with her poodle/ psychiatrist/ debt adviser,

but none of us are getting any younger/ nookie/ richer/ wiser.

That’s all from me, sending joy and peace

from your loving cousin/ uncle/ auntie/ nephew/ niece

for a Christmas that’s happy/ fantastic/ festive/ neat,

and full of seasonal love/ love/ love (no need to delete)

by Jeff Phelps